Facebook Cold TURKEY

I took the month after we got married off from Facebook. In my last post I talked about how I don't understand Twitter and don't really care to. However, I LOVE Facebook. Not just because I'm super nosy but because it makes me feel connected to everyone.

I recently moved away from what I would deem as home, even though I have moved more times than I care to admit (cough, cough 68, cough, cough). This last move was definitely more difficult than I had imagined. I have been desperately trying to keep in contact with all those I miss via Facebook. I decided I had been spending too much time when my husband and I were sitting next to each other both on our laptops looking through Facebook instead of spending quality time together. In all honestly that would not seem so big of a deal except we only get to see one another two nights a week, if that.

I deleted Facebook from my phone and logged off for a complete month. It was hard the first week and then became really easy. I logged back on at the end of our honeymoon. I enjoy being on Facebook. I keep up to date with my nieces and nephews and siblings. I am able to reach out to those who don't live close enough to make a jaunt to go see.

HOWEVER, I realized that I put a lot more into all of my Facebook relationships than those I am "friends" with. Out of over 700 friends I have I only spoke to maybe 10 people in the month I was unplugged. But I was able to really speak to them. To be truly present for them and more importantly for my husband.

I actually felt completely disconnected and it was nice after the pain and disappointment subsided. I was able to complete my goals for the month. I connected/reconnected to 10 people and spent as much time as possible in quality time with my husband. I read one book (I wanted to read 4), I started working out regularly again, began spending quiet time alone and truly be able to see who my "friends" really are.

I suppose I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. But given that I have family all over the country and David has family all over the country it truly is handy to keep everyone updated. When it comes to friends I haven't decided how I feel about them. But alas, that is the nature of life I think. We get busy and egocentric and that is ok. It truly has to be. However, it needs to be balanced. I find myself continually attempting to keep the kindle of friendship going and I think I'm tired of it. I think that all relationships need to be reciprocated. I wonder how that will pan out.

It's time to take care of me and surround me with those who want to be a part of my life, not just be witness to it.... looks like it's time to do a big delete again. :-)

jko

Twitter Me This

I was listening to the radio because that is where I get most of my news. Not NPR type of news, but more like morning radio shows news. You know the type that involves the weather, disasters, political updates and celebrity gossip. Is that sad? Probably. But alas a busy girl has to do what she can. 

I heard about a teenager, Kevin Curwick, who was tired of cyberbullies utilizing Facebook and Twitter to destroy the lives of his fellow classmates. He took it upon himself to create a twitter account that was only to be used to spread positive things about his fellow classmates. His username is @OsseoNiceThings.

I won't lie I don't understand Twitter, nor do I care to. I am already fighting my media addiction I don't need anything else to add to the issue. However, I think this is just amazing and speaks volumes to the hope I have for our future generation and the change they can be.

I have clients who have experienced this damage via the anonymity of Facebook. I have seen the destruction of self that happens to a child when hundreds of kids read something and run with it. It takes the phrase, "spreads like wildfire" to a completely different level. Heck, I have seen the damage people attempt to do as adults utilizing Facebook. It is amazing the horrible things I see people write. I choose not to allow that energy in my life, so I challenge the negativity and if it continues I have no issue deleting someone. However, I am 33 years old and have the ability to do that most teenager's concept of self is only seen in how others view them. Can you imagine the challenge they are faced with?

If we could spend as much time spreading positive things as we do spreading ill will who knows where our kids will be. How can we expect our children and our teens to do this when we as adults often speak disparagingly about others because we have a cloak of anonymity.

My challenge to you is to keep track of how often something negative comes out of your mouth about another person while you're alone. Now how about when you're in front of your kids? When you figure out how much negativity is in your mind then reverse it! Spend one day a week only speaking highly of people and more importantly yourself. Then try to increase it to two days and so on. Perhaps we can take a lesson from Kevin Curwick and make the attempt for positive change in those around us and in the world!

jko

Read more about Kevin and his positive change:
http://www.competeeveryday.com/2012/08/kevin-curwick-tweeting-change/

Photo Book

Here is the photobook I created of photos from family and friends. I hope you enjoy!!

xoxo
Jko

Click here to view this photo book larger

Click here to create your own Shutterfly photo book.

Weighing in . . .

Top Photo with my biological Mom 02/2004
Middle Photo with my Mom 05/2005
Bottom photo with a coworker10/2004 at 250 pounds

Weight is a funny thing to me. Not like Comedy Central, laugh out loud funny. More like wow, the irony of this doesn't seem to stop. Like many females I've never appreciated the weight I was because I found myself in comparison to those around me. I was unable to see the real me, the blessing that God created and the beauty those saw in me.

When I left high school in 1997 I weighed 160 pounds, which is only 10 pounds heavier than my ideal weight for my height, bone structure and muscle mass. I didn't think I was skinny but I don't think I ever felt "fat". I just knew that I was the fattest girl in my clique.

After my first year of college I found that I didn't gain the "freshman 15" I gained the "freshman 30". I was devastated and found myself for the first time really self conscious and uneasy. I came home and never really changed what I did. I started working, kept going to college, traveled, and experience a full life.

At the end of college in 2003 I reached an insane weight. In all honesty I don't think I know how much I weighed. I know I was at least 250. I was the fat girl in my sorority and I truly didn't realize it. I was oblivious in certain sense because I was happy and in love and as a result of my denial was FAT.

When i graduated college I realized I was fat as I tried to get into a wedding dress. I started my journey to get healthier. I got down to 225. When I got divorced in 2008 I made a change in my life. I started to run. I ran all the time. I started at a 19.5 minute mile and got down to 13.5 minutes. I completed 5 5k's, and 11 .3 mile run and a half marathon and I managed to lose a total or 75 pounds. I at one point got down to 169. I still thought I was giant, but understood I was in the process of becoming healthier.

As much of a success as that is, unfortunately I have gradually began to gain the weight back. Slowly over the 3 years I gained 16 pounds tipping the scales once again at 185. Then I had a major weight gain. It started when I got fired in July 2011. I was at 185 pounds in July and then in 4 and a half months gained 40 pounds. I was back up to 220 pounds. :-( I was once again devastated. How did I let this happen? I worked so hard to get the weight off and it was as if all the work I had done was for not!

This time the weight affected all of me. I was not oblivious. I was not in denial.  If there was a word greater than devastation that would begin to explain how this made me feel. My heart, my soul, my confidence, my personality, my self-worth all seemed to take a tole. I once again was trying to fit into a wedding dress and trying not to let my lack of self-esteem and my weight totally steal from the joy of becoming a wife to the man I was so excited to have in my life. I attempted to work out and as a result I have dropped 9 pounds and lost 7 inches.

My wedding day 7/21/12

My wedding was amazing. I felt like I looked amazing like every bride deserves. I was able to let go of my weight and focus on the joy God has blessed me with. After the wedding I decided ok, now it's time to focus!

That was two weeks ago. The first week was rough only worked out 3 days instead of the 6 days I wanted. This week was much better I have worked out every day this week and have enjoyed every moment of it.

This morning I was quickly measured by a trainer who was busy, so I question his accuracy (more because I can't believe the results) and he informed me that I was 41% body fat. The only words out of my mouth, WHAT THE HELL? I made a commitment to start running again regularly and exercise daily, even if that means just taking my dog on a 2 mile walk. I was told I needed to lose 20% of my body weight. My original goal is to get back down to 160 pounds. The weight I was when I thought I was the fattest girl I knew. That will be 25.5% of my body weight now. I know I can do it. I am determined to do it!

Ironically, tonight David has chosen to watch Extreme Makeover Weightloss. The man on the show weighed 543 pounds and one year later he weighed in at 277 pounds. WOW! I am always amazed at how God reaches out to me. Sometimes he has to grab my attention and shake me. This shook me!

It's amazing the difference a year can make. I told someone once, if you truly want to accomplish a goal every choice you make in life has to help get you closer to that goal. Keep that goal as your focus and you will create that happiness!!!

So here we go again. An attempt to regain who I once was back. An attempt to fit back into my "skinny" jeans. An attempt to regain control of my life and my health. An attempt to win my fitness challenge with a brother. An attempt to complete a race a month!  I will be successful this time. I will reach my goal. I will be a model for the kids I work with. I will be able to look myself in the mirror and smile knowing that I am still able to accomplish goals set. I will stop comparing myself to those around me and practice what I preach, we are all unique individuals God put on this earth for a purpose. I am not you and you are not me. I am happy with who I am, who I was, and who I will be!

-Jko

It begins again...

July 21, 2012
Our Wedding Day

Some of you have followed me in the past on other blogs and some of you didn't even know I loved to write.  I was getting the itch to write again. This strange feeling of needing to express myself with words.  So here I am, writing again in a very public forum. I decided since I am in a completely different phase of my life I needed a completely different blog to support that. So here we are starting fresh!

I haven't decided quite what I want my focus to be. I know that I have experienced so much and have been blessed by God so much and when I sit here and think, I will find a focus. For now I will express joy in my new marriage and the life we are creating together. Please understand that every now and then I will interject words of wisdom, words of humor, and attempt to express something I have had the privilege of experiencing so you can learn.

As my life continues to change and I continue to grow I am choosing to articulate it and document it. I am now 33 years old and half of another year is gone by. I feel as though another phase of my life is starting, full of great experiences, challenges, personal and professional growth, and a whole new world of being a couple.

And as I continually say, Happiness is a choice! No one can make us feel anything or react in any way, we choose that. So your life is a choice be careful what you choose.

Here you go.... <3 Life As We Choose It  <3